Lust is Blind, Love Sees All

 

“Lust is Blind, Love Sees All” 

A Review of Love is Blind, Season 1 by Nick Olszyk

 

Streaming Service: Netflix

Year: 2020

FCC Rating, TV-MA

CSM Rating, 15+

Reel Rating, Two Reels            

           

            “Love is Blind” is a common euphemism that expresses how humans are often romantically attracted to people for unconventional or odd. In the case of the Netflix dating series, the phrase refers to the twist that the couples are physically prevented from seeing one another until they commit to marriage. It starts off with great promise as they need to find other ways of connecting to one another besides sexual attraction but quickly degrades after the engagements. Some with stay together, some will not, but what the show illuminates about modern love is more compelling than the couples themselves.  

            The show begins by sequestering the males and females in separate hotels. They go on dates with the opposite sex in “pods,” small cubicle like structures where they are separated by opaque glass windows, allowing for perfect audio but no visual stimuli. The idea is that the couples must form relationships without many of the cues that first cause attraction such as height, weight, build, race, and shape. They are free to date whomever they wish as much as they wish. After only three weeks, they must propose and have their proposal accepted to move on. Only then may they see one another. They then have another three weeks before the wedding, and, hopefully, a long, blissful future.

While the show starts with thirty contestants, it quickly focuses in on the five couples who make it past the engagement. Mark and Jessica are fitness fans with a shared Christian faith but a ten-year age gap. Matt and Amber are a frat bro and an ex-army party girl. Damien and Giannina are the odd couple with tons of spicy drama. Kenny and Kelly are the perfect couple who seemed tailor made for one another. Lastly, Cameron and Lauren are the interracial couple with a ton of hoops to jump through. All these couples could make it, but surely not all will.

The contestants continually refer to the show’s premise as an “experiment.” Tired of the prescription of modern dating, they are willing to submit to a trial drug. At first, this seems to produce encouraging results. Rather than focusing on appearance, conversations go deeper than usual, and soon many couples are connecting on a level than beyond their expectations. After several dates with Matt, Amber admits a previous boyfriend pressured her into having abortion, and she makes it clear she would never do this again. These kinds of conversations are key for martial discernment, and it was refreshing seeing how excited people were to be given permission go into these areas of their life. Unfortunately, the potential of these early episodes fades quickly. To be honest, the experiment was doomed from the start. Six weeks is simply not enough time to know someone enough to get married. The Church requires at least four years to become a priest, so it is absurd to expect these couples to be ready in same time frame as a package from Brazil.

Despite never having seen each other, these five couples commit to getting married in three weeks’ time. The dilemma of physicality quickly dissipates as all ten individuals are extremely attractive. No one is left embarrassed and at least two couples (possibly more) sleep with each other on the first night. Once the couples begin living together, meeting family members, and discussing their future, conflict emerge. Cameron and Lauren are both unwilling to give up their residences. Jessica almost immediately begins wondering if she was really meant for Matt. The main issue is that everyone on the show wanted to “find love” as opposed to “giving love.” Marriage is not about how you personally can benefit but sacrificing yourself out of love for your spouse and the Kingdom. Marriage is a sacrament, a sign of God’s action in the world.

So many of these shows also suffer from the reality show format itself. While the show is technically unscripted, it’s clear that the producers choose couples based on narrative patterns. Kenny and Kelly are the perfect couple who suddenly and mysterious fall flat. Damien and Giannina fight and make-up constantly. Worst of all is Jessica, who became the victim of huge internet animosity for her wavering loyalty, insistent whining, and constant alcohol use. Having spent some time with 12-step programs myself, she is an alcoholic, not simply because of her excessive use but how she uses and when. Even when not drunk or even drinking, there is always a glass of wine in her hand. It is a comfort tool for stressful situations. This is a entertainment, and it needs to contain a story to be compelling, but these are people’s real live and relationships that are being manipulated for audience consumption. It is especially heart breaking to think that the producers may have enabled or at least publicized a person’s addiction for ratings.

Marriage discernment is difficult, and the criticism given to a mindset that sees only sexual attraction is commendable. However, Love is Blind misses the most important point: love is not about you. It cannot see that truth, and no marriage can succeed without that.