So I Married an International Assassin

 

“So I Married an International Assassin”

A Review of Role Play by Nick Olszyk

 

Distribution: Amazon Prime

MPAA Rating, R

USCCB Rating, Not Rated at the Time of This Review

Reel Rating,  One Reel           

 

            When a couple receives the sacrament of marriage, they agree to give themselves completely to one another, “forsaking all others.” This implies not only sexual fidelity but anything in life (career, ambition, money, possessions) that might come between them. Perhaps there is not a worse example than Emma Bracket (Kaley Cuoco) who takes the moniker of “a double life” to a new level. She claims that her marriage to Dave (David Oyelowo) is her “everything” but secretly crisscrosses the globe as an international assassin, keeping him and their kids in the dark for almost a decade. There are many ways director Thomas Vincent could handle this. Perhaps a lighthearted comedy? Or a dark, brooding mediation on truth? Unfortunately, Role Play is unable to commit to a tone and instead becomes a dull, chaotic mess. Somehow Emma and Dave make it through, but their victory is little comfort to the audience that had to endure this two-hour train wreck.

            Emma and Dave, a nice, modern couple with two kids, a mid-size house, and dual incomes, have hit the seven-year itch hard. In fact, Emma completely forgot their anniversary. They decided to try something new to “spice things up.” They will meet in the bar of an upscale hotel and pretend to be someone else – just two middle aged single people hooking up after a hard day. Yet when Dave arrives, he finds an older man flirting with his wife. The rest of the evening continues to devolve as he gets drunk and falls asleep rather than engaging in any martial activities. He is shocked to learn the next morning that this stranger was murdered in his hotel room. When his wife announces a sudden business trip to Nebraska, he is left even more bewildered until an FBI agent shows up at his house with evidence of Emma’s real vocation. Despite this duplicity, he is determined to find his wife and save his family, leading to betrayal, kidnapping, murder, and role play that is anything but sexy.

            In any relationship, people fulfill certain roles, which might be genuine or pretend. Dave is a loving husband and father who is content with the classic nuclear model. Emma, however, tries to be both a deadly hitman and a middle American wife. It is unclear which is real or pretend. She claims she always wanted domestic bliss but never left her profession. Either way, she should have been honest from the beginning. Such dishonesty would be clear grounds for annulment, although it is admirable that neither party seems intent on leaving after the revelation. Their willingness to work together and adapt is the film’s sole redeeming quality.

            This gimmick could have worked, but the film is just so, so terrible. The most glaring difficulty is the lead actress’s performance. Kaley Cuoco rose to prominence as the ditzy hot neighbor to nerdy physicists on The Big Bang Theory, and her producer credit here suggests she chose this project to deliberate throw off that image. It doesn’t work. She still appears sweet and kind, even while trying to play tough. The story is also a mess with characters appearing and disappearing without any development. The central villain works for the FBI but then really is a criminal overload but also raised Emma as child…it’s all very confusing. The film makes a critical narrative error too by revealing Emma to be an assassin before discussing her normal life. It would have been far more thrilling and mysterious for David to gradually discover her secret with the audience.

            Like thousands of other films lying in the graveyard of streaming code, Role Play is boring and forgettable, which is a real shame. Dynamic films that explore the complexities of married life are rare even though most Americans are not attractive young single adults. We deserve great art too.

 

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