A Review of Journey to Bethlehem by Nick Olszyk
Distribution Service: Theatrical
MPAA Rating, TV-PG
USCCB Rating, Not rated at the time of this review
Reel Rating, Three Reels
There
have been many adaptations of the Nativity story (including a spec script
written by yours truly), but this is the first large scale musical of this Sunday
School classic. However, this is not a big budget extravaganza in tradition of
Rogers and Hammerstein but rather a funky 2000s pop compilation in the tradition
of High School Musical and A
Week Away. It is the passion project of Adam Anders, best known as the
music composer and producer for such Millennial hits as Glee, Camp
Rock, and The Descendants – here getting his first taste as a writer
and director as well as lyricist. Like these previous entries, Bethlehem
is cheesy, silly, and incredibly fun. Also like these entries, it is mostly
forgettable and certainly not much to ponder.
The
story should be a familiar one to any Western audience, although it has a
distinctively postmodern flair. Mary and Joseph seemed to be ripped right from
the main characters of Disney’s Aladdin. She is a well spoken and educated
woman who feels oppressed by her family which is trying to marry her off to a “good
man.” He is a sensitive and emotionally mature inventor who dreams of bigger
things. They even meet in a marketplace and flirt while tossing an apple
around. Played by rising starlets Fiona Palomo and Milo Manheim, they are both
young, witty, and extremely attractive. Apparently, dental and skin care was
better in 1st century Israel than expected. Their plans are further
complicated by Gabriel’s annunciation, made less awesome by his clumsy allusion to a famous
stormtrooper when he first appears. Joseph is hesitant to continue with the
relationship but after a song and dance filled dream sequence agrees to take on
his role. The rest of the story follows as one could predict.
As
a pop musical, the songs are enjoyable but aggressively unmemorable. The show
begins with Mary’s sisters singing “Mary Getting Married,” a cute take on “Matchmaker”
from Fiddler on the Roof than relies heavily on alliteration. Then there
is an 80s power ballad on the way to Elizabeth where Mary bemoans her situation
complete with circling helicopter shots and sudden winds through her dress. There
is one good song in Journey to Bethlehem, and it’s the slimy villain
expose “It’s Good to Be King.” As King Herod the Great, Antionio Banderas – the
film’s one big name – milks his inner bad guy for all its worth while soldiers
do the macarena behind him. It’s honestly the only song I remembered mere hours
after the movie was over.
This
musical was clearly designed to entice Christian families, so its worth looking
at its exegetical underpinnings, no matter how slim. While there are many deviations
from scripture, there is nothing overtly offensive. At the same time, the
filmmakers seem woefully ignorant of any long-standing traditions. Mary has two
siblings, and her parents appear to be in their 40s. Joseph is young and has
never been married. At least they got the wise men right, using their traditional
names and even races, though gold is still viewed as far more valuable than frankincense
or myrrh.
By far the most
interesting character is Herod Antipas (Joel Smallbone). He seems to be in an
entirely different film altogether – and perhaps a more compelling one. As a potential
heir, he desperately wants to have his father’s approval. However, he also recognizes
his father’s madness and poor leadership, singing a painful ode about the complexities
of good governance. He even seems to be keenly in tune with the tender
political balance between Rome and the Jewish people. This Rick Blaine character
arc culminates in a scene so insane and absurd I would never reveal it here,
but it’s alone worth the price of admission.
There are
moments in Journey to Bethlehem so stupid even wisecracking robots
wouldn’t find it entertaining. There are also scenes so tender and joyous even
the harshest critics wouldn’t smile. This will not be a classic of the Biblical
genre, but it deserves to be seen a noble attempt to make the story palatable
even if it largely misses the mark. Also, again, the dancing in Herod’s throne
room is hilarious, so there’s that.
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