A Review of Lady Ballers by Nick Olszyk
Distribution: Daily Wire +
FCC Rating, TV-14
Reel Rating, Four Reels
Over the last decade, The Daily Wire
has become the breakout prodigy of the contemporary American conservative
movement. The “little news company that could” has created a rabid fan base, won
a supreme court victory, created a successful children’s television channel, and launched
the most
successful boycott of the 21st century. Now, it has produced a
movie proudly billed as “the most triggering comedy of the year.” Announced only days before its premiere, Lady
Ballers quickly became the most hated and loved movie in America – just as
every DW fan would have it.
The story is incredibly
ludicrous, only slightly less so than its historical premise. Rob (Jeremy
Boring – also writer, director, and DW founder) is a washed-up former championship
coach for high school basketball. Recently fired for a politically incorrect
comment, he takes a waitress gig at the Dollhouse – a hooters-style restaurant
with drag performers as servers. There he meets Alex (David Considine), a
former player and now co-worker, who hires him as a sprinting coach for an
upcoming race. On the day of the event, Alex accidently forgets to change and
is placed in the female race as a transwoman. He easily wins over superior,
seasoned athletes, netting five grand in the process. This gives Rob his “light
bulb” moment; He’ll get back his former championship squad, pass them off as
transgender despite no physical changes, and dominate the national competition.
Assisting in his ruse is journalist Gwen Wilde (Billie Ray Brandt) who functions
as his social media guru, threatening anyone who points out the obvious. At first,
the scam works beautifully as the Lady Ballers literally crush the competition
and win lucrative corporate sponsorships. However, conspicuous lies tend to
have a short shelf life, and undeserved fame isn’t all it promises.
Lady Ballers
is an effective comedy on two levels. First, it is a “take no prisoners”
absurdist satire in the tradition of Mel Brooks. It crosses the line of good
taste, then keeps going, crosses another line, then goes even further. For
example, newscaster Drake Diamond (DW host Michael Knowles) is sent for two
weeks of “sensitivity training” for questioning the gender of Alex. Upon returning,
he announces that, as a 1/2000th Cherokee, he will only wear full
Native American regalia and face paint. When Rob’s ten-year-old daughter Winnie
(Rosie Harper) gleefully says a classmate flashed his penis, her father is
horrified:
“Some boy showed you his penis?!”
“No, not a boy, Daddy. That’s gross.
Mary Margaret is a girl.”
“Girls don’t have penises, Winnie.”
“Mary Margaret does, and penises are
weird.”
“Stop saying penis! Where did this happen?”
“In the bathroom.”
“Why are they letting boys in the girls’
bathroom?!”
“Why do you keep misgendering Mary
Margaret?”
It’s hard enough to win an argument with a tween, even less so when
the world is against you. There hasn’t been an outrage comedy this honest or
clever since Tropic Thunder.
Second, Lady
Ballers is a special thank you treat for Daily Wire fans. In addition to
Boring, Ben Shapiro plays a foul-mouthed referee, Matt Walsh the hippie new
squeeze of Bob’s ex-wife, and three of the five basketball players host DW’s
sports show. Part of this was necessity. No one – even canceled and conservative
actors – wanted to go near the production. Yet it was also a way to get everyone’s
favorite personalities together for a giant project with dozens of Easter eggs including
Johnny the Walrus, the Babylon Bee, the Sweet Baby Gang, and an over-the-top plug
for Jeremy’s Razors newest line.
It would be easy to
label Lady Ballers unfunny, sexist, lazy, racist, and – of course – transphobic.
Many
already have. If it was two hours of lame and mean-spirited jokes, they
might have a case. Yet like Walsh’s documentary What
is a Woman, there is real heart beneath the silly exterior. At the
championship game, Winnie tells her dad she now “wants to be a man.” “Why?” he
inquires. “Because I want to be a winner…like you.” He suddenly knows he’s
messed up and gives her a beautiful explanation of God’s gender plan worthy of
Christopher West.
Eventually, all the players admit their
crime, but Alex has a different take. He understands what he did was wrong but
accepts that he really is a woman. Rob admits he was a bad coach and friend. “I
should have just hurt your feelings and told you the truth rather than going
along with the lie.” “But how?” Alex pleads desperately. “How do you know I’m
not a woman?” I won’t reveal how Rob convinces Alex of his gender, but it’s the
kind of thing only two male friends could understand.
The film isn’t perfect. The first half
is slow, and the jokes don’t always land. Also, the de-aging CGI in the first
scene is terrible. But the movie is funny. Really, really funny. Better still,
it highlights in the best way possible that the emperor has no clothes – not to
advocate violence towards the emperor – but to respect the right of all to live
in the truth. Oh, and it has a brilliant twist in the last ten seconds that
perhaps only a dozen people will understand. But for those who “have eyes to
see and ears to hear,” it might be the greatest movement in cinema history.
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